The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

Author:John Gottman [Gottman, John]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
Publisher: Crown Archetype
Published: 2002-02-04T05:00:00+00:00

For Eleanor and Dan, speeding constitutes a perpetual problem they will probably never fully resolve. That’s because their disagreement symbolizes deeper conflicts between them. They are really arguing about Big Issues like trust, security, selfishness. To keep their ongoing battles over driving from ruining their marriage, they’ll need to understand the deeper meaning that this battle has for each of them. Only then will they be able to manage it effectively.

But for Rachel and Jason, disagreements over driving speeds constitute a solvable problem. Every morning they commute together from their suburban home to downtown Pittsburgh. She thinks he drives too fast. He says he has to speed because she takes so long to get ready. If he doesn’t make up for her dawdling by speeding, they’ll both be late to work. Rachel says it takes her so long in the morning because he showers first and takes forever. Plus, he always leaves the breakfast dishes on the table. While she’s busy washing them, he’s honking the horn for her to hurry. Every workday starts with accusations and counteraccusations about showering time and household chores. By the time Jason drops Rachel off at her office, he’s stonewalling and she’s fighting back tears.

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